7 Ways Moms Can Encourage Gratitude in Their Children
With the holidays around the corner, our children are dreaming of the gifts they want and making lists or telling you what to buy. And if they don’t get them, they will probably complain and have a fit about it! I remember finding “Christmas wish lists” strategically placed around the house so I would find them, even though my kids knew we didn’t give gifts that way.
I knew if I just gave them what was on each of their lists, I would be encouraging an entitlement mentally in my children. They might begin to expect us to give them what they wanted when they wanted it. They would be on the path of growing up entitled.
Though it would have been much easier for me to just buy from their lists, we wanted our four children to grow up to be grateful people. So, in our home those “wish lists” quickly went into the fire and our children had to wait and be surprised on Christmas morning.
As adults, our kids have expressed gratitude that we didn’t give in to their wish lists.
As they unwrapped their gifts on Christmas morning, most of the time they were very excited about the gifts they received. Sometimes there was a little disappointment, and that’s ok. Those were gratitude growing times—learning to be thankful to the person for the gift given. Someone had put time, effort, and money into selecting a gift for them. They learned to be thankful for that.
Most of us want to be grateful people. Here are seven ideas to help you and your children become more grateful.
1. Encourage Giving. We’ve all heard the phrase, “It is better to give than receive.” Helping our child learn this will enable them to appreciate the gifts they are given, even if it wasn’t at the top of their list.
Here are a few ideas that don’t require purchases:
Write a handmade card and wrap one of their toys that their brother has wanted
Make 12 handmade coupons for Mom or Dad with things they will do when presented with each (without complaining). Some coupon ideas are: 3 hugs, a backrub, two kisses, cleaning out the dishwasher, or taking the garbage out. Let them be creative and come up with their own. Then, wrap the coupon gift in a little box.
2. Delayed Gratification Gratitude. At the store, when your child whines for the toy car or new phone, let them wait. Once you’re home, have them do some extra jobs such as cleaning out the dishwasher or vacuuming the house. Pay them and take a trip to the store to get what they’ve earned. There is something about working for something that makes us grateful and not entitled. It’s a perfect moment to have them pause and thank the Lord for having the opportunity and ability to earn something they want.
3. Feeling Gratitude. When your child is hot, cold, hungry, or hurt, these are great and natural opportunities to express gratitude. When your son comes in from outside and has cold hands, hold them and say, “Let’s thank the Lord for a warm house.” Here are some other ways to express what we feel in a grateful way. When we are hungry pause and say, “Thank you, Jesus, for this good food!” Even when we have a cold and aren’t feeling well, we can say, “Lord, please help me get better soon, and thank you in advance for healing me.”
4. Express Gratitude. Put a jar of dried beans or nuts in the center of your table. Before dinner, let your child give each person three beans. Then, go around the table and say what you are thankful for, such as, “I’m thankful for daddy.” Keep going around the table until everyone’s beans are gone.
5. Write Out Your Gratitude. Write 10 things a day (using complete sentences) in a Gratitude Notebook or Journal, praying for each one as you write. As you continue this practice, you’ll feel your heart’s attitude changing.
6. Experience Gratitude. Pause, take a deep breath, and find something beautiful or someone you appreciate and express it to the Lord. “Thank you for the smile on my daughter’s face,” or, “Thank you, Lord, for this beautiful sunset.”
7. Redefine gift-giving. Discard those entitled wish lists and explain that gifts should not be lists of demands, but surprises to be received with gratitude. Your children’s response to wish list removal can be an indication that their hearts are either grateful or entitled.
This holiday season, help your family develop a lifestyle of gratitude. Create moments and opportunities for you and your children learn to be thankful people, in every season. As your family puts these ideas and your own into practice, over time you’ll see less complaining and more gratitude.
Brenda Jacobson
