How a Mom’s Attitude and Actions Can Empower or Hurt Their Children
I was walking down the canned food aisle when I saw a sweet little boy quietly holding onto the side of his mother’s grocery cart. Her attention was on the soups, scanning the shelves for the items she wanted, not paying attention to her mild-mannered son. As I approached them coming from the other direction, I slowed my cart to let them pass, because the aisle was small and I didn’t want to hit the boy.
His mother saw this and harshly grabbed him by his shirt, dragging him to her side, angrily saying, “Get out of the way. You are always in the way!”
I cringed as I passed, hearing more angry tones spoken. It made me want to hold him in my arms and say, “I see you, you are valuable, and you are loved.”
I don’t know for sure what his family life was like, but from my short encounter, it felt like this little boy, who was not whining, complaining, or running around, had a wounded heart. He was trying to please his Mom, but just got anger in return.
Our words can either empower and encourage or wound and discourage. It is our job as moms to build good relationships and empower our children to grow and learn. I realize we all have those moments when we are beyond capacity. I was visiting my daughter, helping her during one of these times. It was the holidays and she had many stressful deadlines. In addition, right before I got here, both she and my granddaughter came down with a terrible flu and both needed extra attention. I smiled as I watched my daughter, who could barely get up off the couch, patiently and gently listen and love on my granddaughter even though she didn’t have the energy or time.
When we feel near the end of our ability to respond lovingly, that is the perfect time to send up a rocket prayer calling out to the Lord for His strength in that moment. He can give you the strength you need, so you can give your child the love and attention they need.
It may sound like oversimplification, but there are actually three things going on:
You are turning to God in your time of weakness
You are surrendering your own comfort and desires for another
You are taking a step of obedience and faith
These are the very things needed to put us in a blessable place. He wants to bless you. He is ready and waiting for you to respond so He can bless you.
If that mom, who was clearly at the end of her ability to cope, had asked the Lord for strength and patience, He would have given it to her. Then she would have had the emotional ability to put her son in the shopping cart or allow him to stand up between her and the cart, engaging him by saying, “We are looking for soup for dinner tonight. Do you see some?” or, “Would you like chicken noodle or vegetable beef?”—inviting him into her world and letting him know that he is seen, valued, and loved. The Lord would give her the ability to engage with and develop a good relationship with her son, providing love, a healthy self-confidence, and the ability to cope with his little world.
Think about the times when you have a hard time engaging the way you want to. Next time you are in that space, stop and send up a rocket prayer asking the Lord to strengthen you so you begin connecting with Him, helping your child become the person he is created to be.
Then, please share you story here to encourage other moms.
